Today, we occupied the public hearing
where plans to demolish our theatre (and my house) were discussed. The Big Bad
Real Estate Developer Wolf was present with his pack of drooling cubs, Grannyma
was present and as feisty as you want her to be, Little Red Riding Hood
innocently stated her case to a cold and unforgiving room, and though all
seemed lost… the heroic Woodsman did in fact, make an appearance as well.
I have transcribed the event as it occurred,
to the best of my memory. The entire event was filmed, so anything that I may
be recalling incorrectly can be verified, and/or corrected.
The cast of characters:
M: The Mediator, aka The Shill for
Corporate Greed BBW: In this case, not a big beautiful
woman, but The Big Bad Real Estate Developer Wolf A: Architect
LR: Little Red Riding Hood – me! G: Grannyma, representing Cheviot Hills
neighborhood CM: A councilman’s representative WM: The Woodsman, representing Motor
Ave V: Various Villagers
The scene: West LA Municipal Building,
or You Can’t See the Forest for the Greed
M: We are here to discuss the proposed
project at 3425 Motor Ave. We don’t really care what anybody says, cause
really, Mr. BBW can do whatever he wants cause he’s a rich white guy. We don’t
give a crap about commercial interests, unless they are the commercial
interests of a rich white guy. Small businesses can suck it.
BBW: We want to build a big huge stupid
thing. Here is a shiny picture of it. Blah blah blah infrastructure. Blah blah
blah no environmental impact. Blah blah blah, it’s great, and won’t cause any
problems because it’s totally awesome.
A: Um, did you see the picture? It has
a courtyard and a café. I’ll stand in front of it while I talk, but trust me it’s
awesome.
G: This isn’t awesome. It sucks. No one
was informed. It will cause traffic problems. It will cause parking problems.
CM: Mr. Councilman also thinks it
sucks. We are opposed.
M: Wait… did you say OPPOSED?
CM: Yes, opposed. Your idea is stupid.
WM: We know you’re going to do what you’re
going to do anyway, and we don’t like it, but can you at least build something
less stupid?
LR: We know you’re going to do what you
want anyway, and we knew that someday we would have to leave, but just know
what you’re doing. You want to talk about what you’re building, but I want to
point out what you’re tearing down. You are tearing down affordable housing for
me, and people like me. You are tearing down affordable work space for both of
my companies. You are tearing down the education and enrichment of children,
and of artists. You are tearing down history. You are tearing down art. You are
tearing down culture. And we realize you don’t care, but we do.
Then, the room erupted in a slow clap
which turned into a pep rally…. (slightly editorialized) BBW: To address the concerns presented
today... None of you had any “expert opinions” but we had an expert “traffic
consultant” that we hired and paid and he said there wouldn’t be any problems.
And there won’t be any parking problems, and did we mention this place is
awesome? And there won’t be any problems.
GM: I will hire my own “traffic
consultant”
M: Go for it bitch.
GM: I will.
BBW: By the way I live in
Pacific Palisades in a big shiny rich white man house and traffic is bad there
too. So there. But the efficiency apartments we are building will be totally
affordable for the poor losers that we are displacing from their groovy bungalow
style apartments.
V: We are being bullied out,
and they don’t want to pay us relocation fees, and we’ve lived here 13 years.
M: So, in summation, no one
who lives or works in this community wants this project, but rich white men who
don’t live or work in this community want it, so it’s going to happen. The end.
Or is it?
We understand that big
business can tear down buildings, and build more crap, because they have “the
right” to do it. And that small business has “no rights” because we will always
have to rent buildings from big business.
We spoke our minds, for
whatever it’s worth, and they can build more and more crap until there is
nothing left, no resources at all.
But we are storytellers. And we
will never run out of stories. Never.
And for the record, the
Woodsman approached Little Red Riding Hood and gave her his card with his cell
phone number on it, and said, “If this goes through, call me, because we want
you here. We want theatre on Motor Ave.”
So, Mr. Wolf, in case you don’t remember how the
story ends, the wolf does devour Grannyma and Little Red, but the Woodsman cuts
him open, and they jump out unharmed, and they tell their story. |
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